This morning, we were supposed to apologize to our adviser, the one we managed to make mad at us yesterday. Unfortunately, it kind-of got worse. By the very moment he went inside the classroom, his aura already exemplified rage. A few moments later, he got mad. He kept on talking and talking on how we betrayed him, how we chose the other teacher rather than him; he told us how disappointing we were, that we didn’t even bother on apologizing him- the ones whom he expects and trusts the most.
While he was talking, he kept on eyeing specific people on the class. What’s worse, I was one of them. He looked at me, and I saw his eyes full of anger, intense emotions. I instantly looked away hoping that that stare doesn’t mean anything. Unfortunately, it meant something.
Yesterday, me and some people were talking on the school’s Plaza Maria talking about how we would apologize to him. He saw us. We didn’t think he’d give us a different impression out of it. So, this morning, he called us, the 12 people whom he thinks betrayed him.
Ridge Ross L. De Veyra,Kezia Calderon,Aira Trinidad,Jophel Lacuesta,Chabie Angela Gasmeña,Marimar Gajelon,Jennie Rose Morante,Danber Joy Villanueva,Gledel Layne Madera,Reynold Feliciano,Shaira Ann Mendoza and Roanne Kai Capistrano- this are the special 12 that he called this morning. He was mad at us, like he can’t trust us anymore. He told us to go out to the school’s mini forest and talk about what we did. Of course, I was feeling clueless, because I don’t know I did anything wrong. I am not a part of their party, and at the same time, I am not close to the teacher he is mad at. It felt like a smack in the face when he told us to get out. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I have no face to show to my friends anymore- especially The Virgins.
By the time we passed the Science Laboratory, my friends started crying. First, it was Kezia. She started sobbing on her face towel. Then the other girls proceeded starting from Shaira, to Roane, to Gledel, to Marimar and to whoever. The only girl who didn’t cry was Chabie. But of course, as seen from her eyes, deep inside, she wanted to cry. I can see pain on her phony laugh- not the annoying kind of phony, but the encouraging one. We started talking and brainstorming on whatever that we did that made our very adviser mad at us. Aira was standing next to me. I thought she wasn’t going to cry. She’s a strong girl! She has survived 15 years of her life without a father, I’ve only seen her cry once because of him. And now, I really didn’t expect she’d cry because of our adviser’s rage. By the way Aira and our adviser bonds, I know, that there’s a chance that she might’ve thought of, or treated, Sir Chris, our adviser, as her father.
When I was getting out, I also wanted to cry; but I held myself back. The three of us boys, me, Jophel and Reynold, we didn’t cry. Although I know, that each of us, felt pain. I once read a tweet that made an impact to my life, that’s the reason why I didn’t even bother on crying. I am not a pathetic and miserable person like the others, the ones who cried and sobbed so much. I am not gonna spent the remaining good things in my life just for one bad thing that happened. That’s so low. Call me heartless, but that is true. My conscience is clear. I did not do anything. I have my blog as a prove on what really happened yesterday, or what I felt yesterday.
Finally, our adviser asked Nydine to call for us. The girls were still crying, while I was still busy being clueless and trying not to care about things. So, when we got inside, he was smiling. He seemed to have a good time when we were away. It was discussion. I felt awkward reciting during the discussion, because, you know, I am one of those he called outside. Then, after a few moments, he was trying to make Jennie and Kezia laugh. I can see from his eyes, that he realized something was wrong. He called Jennie to recite, but all she did was sob on her chair. Kezia did the same thing- sob. But that time, it was funny. It’s funny with the way Kezia cried. Roanne, Shaira and Marimar, were crying to. We, the boys, were just speechless- the bad ‘speechless’ kind of thing. When I sat, right when I got inside the classroom. I don’t know if the people who saw me smile thought I am a martyr, or heartless. Then again, it wouldn’t matter. I didn’t care. My conscience is clear. Throughout, the whole discussion, I was laughing, having fun- like any regular Advanced Research discussions.
With a glistening smile, or smirk or something, he told the once he called what happened or whatever did we do yesterday. Each of us told our reasons. So, when some of my classmates started to get our, for I don’t know what the reasons are, he went to our chairs and patted us. I’m not sure, but I think he is apologizing to us, maybe he realized, everything were all just a product of big misunderstanding. I felt that “Apology Accepted” and “I am Sorry” kind of feeling. Although, I’m not just sure if he still trusts us or if he’ll let anything that happened today be part of the past. I’m not sure, if he’ll treat us the same way he used to treat us. Hopefully, my intuitions are just a foreseeing fallacy. I’m just hoping that he still trusts us.
Readers, this is a very dramatic day. I don’t think my thoughts are clearly expressed for what happened today, it was just so overwhelming.
Aira and Kezia, I know you’re reading this. Sorry for the words “pathetic” and “miserable”. I guess I was feeling kind of gothic or something. Plus, I have planned for my bold statement the very moment things started to happen.
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