Readers, it's been a while since I've blogged my heart out. It's just that, I was busy. School. It has been keeping me busy during the past days. But now, well, I'm back... Hopefully, I'll always be.
I don't actually like revisiting the past, so, I'm just gonna tell you guys about what I feel about today. There are only two things which are bugging me- it's about family, and friends.
It's been two years since I saw my parents. They've been busy working hard in abroad. I miss them. I miss them a lot. Everytime, I go to recreational places and see other kids, or worse, my classmates with their parents, their whole family, having fun and all that, I get kinda jealous, or let's just say: envious. I know, it's not a good thing. But sometimes, we just can't stop our emotions. And scientifically speaking, our endocrine system is an 'involuntary' system. Which means, I can't control the production of hormones, the very blood of our emotions. Yesterday, when me, my cousin and my sister were in Jollibee, I saw my classmate and her family. I don't know what I was feeling, but I kinda had a tugging sensation that made me wanna tear. I was thinking, "What if I was in the position of my classmate?". What if I were with my family, eating at fastfood, going to mass together, having fun on parks and what not? Then again, I know that won't happen. If you're thinking that I live on a crazy messed-up world, you're probably right. My mother and my father, they're like... on a "Feud". They're not exactly, fighting, or directly fighting. They just seem to lose their feelings for each other. My father doesn't trust my mother side... especially my grandmother. As for my mother, being merciful, kind and caring and all, she doesn't seem to hate my father, even my father side's family. If my father would try to separate us from her, I don't know. There's a possibility she won't let it happen, and there's a possibility she'll let the opposite thing happen. She respects the right of my father to have us, she doesn't wanna keep us away from our father. As for my grandmother, she hates everything! She hates us, my mother, my father, everything! If there's only one thing she really appreciates or cares about, it's her old life back in the barrio, where she used to live -where we used to live. My parents are not here, so, usually, I'm not the kind of guy, who's on full family mode. Time, experience and my friends have molded me to this kinda-morbid type of person who prefers to be clueless about things, and not care a lot.
I really miss my parents. I miss my mom, I miss my dad. Even though I leave in this messed-up crazy world and acts as a bastard son all the time, deep inside, I'm a puny, a little boy who can't survive this world without them. Readers, since we are all teenagers, I know, there are times you kinda hate your parents. I tell you this, never let that hate turn into a grudge or something worse. You'll only know how much you love you're parents, when they're exactly gone. Treasure your parents, no matter how much they annoy you sometimes.
As for my friends, it seems they are more bastard and phony than I am. This afternoon, I've felt ignored... again. I hate it when my friends do that! I am not a school icon, but I have friends, they may not be a lot, but they are enough. Sometimes, in life, you don't need a lot of friends, just enough. For that 'enough' are the ones that you can actually call "True Friend".
I belong into two cliques on the school, the "The Virgins", the one that I've been telling you, and "Lunatics".
My friendship with the other members of the Lunatics began one full moon- we were having so much fun, reliving youth, playing like we are still toddlers and acting crazy and all.
Now, there are times, when I think they don't need me anymore. There are times when they talk to others, and not include me. Whenever I wanted to join their conversation, they ignore me. That's what I hate the most, because I choose them over my two other best friends, Kennard and Christian- my two bestfriends from "The Virgins". I guess I have poor judgement over my friends, because I always choose the ones whom will make me frustrated than the ones who'll always make me laugh.
Sorry for this Aira Trinidad, Kezia Calderon, and Reynold Feliciano. I hope you respect my right to judge you, or to at least tell what I feel here. Internet is my only happiness. I can't hate people directly, or tell them what I feel about them, so I tell it here.
If you're ever reading this, I hope you won't give me a bad reaction. I hope you'll stay rational as always. It's just my expression of emotions. Nothing more, nothing less.
Readers, if there's one thing you need to be keen about, it's about your friends. You never know if they're like your names, who'll stay with you forever, or, if they're like foggy thing on your breath during winter, which will fade away, at a blink of an eye.
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